"TIPs & QUIPs" Archive

Subject: Lifescope TIPs & QUIPs [04] "Home"

TIPs & QUIPs, the free occasional e-mail of helpful hints and quotes (and
sometimes challenging suggestions) for getting the most from life.

In this issue:
     *** WiseWords
     *** This Issue's Theme
     *** Suggested Resources
     *** Thrive On! Recommended Site
     
*** WiseWords ***
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"A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well
 as the body."
   --Margaret Fuller

"I thank fate for having made me born poor. Poverty taught me the true value
 of the gifts useful to life."
   --Anatole France

"Possessions are merely mementos from our travels through life."
   --Roldalfo Machado, architect

"The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have past at home
 in the bosom of my family... public employment contributes neither to
 advantage nor happiness. It is but honorable exile from one's family and
 affairs."
   --Thomas Jefferson

(For a collection of some of our favorite WiseWords, see our web page at
<http://www.lifescope.com/pages/WiseWords.html>.)


*** This issue's theme:  H O M E  (in the spirit of Thanksgiving)
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Ah, Home Sweet Home...
   Where you can kick off your shoes and truly relax.
   Where you return to safety and sanctuary after a day 'out in the jungle.'
   Where you surround yourself with objects which remind you of the meaningful
   events and people in your life.

Home is more than mere shelter, it is an instinctive outlet for
self-expression. From the colors to the textures and scents -- it is an
exploration and adaptation of our environment to suit us.

Houses -- no matter how humble or grand -- come and go and ultimately do not
define us. Rather, home is an attitude that has to do with love and caring and
authenticity. Home is the housing of our lives, our families, and our souls.
Interesting people may create interesting houses, but it is the expression of
living which creates the spirit, warmth and charm of a home.

And it is often the simpler homes which express the most. A basic chair and
table can take on mythic proportions depending upon their arrangement -- for
example, if near a window with sunshine streaming in upon a flower placed on
the table.

Alexandra Stoddard, an interior designer and author of several books about 
bringing beauty and grace to life. In a recent book (listed in Suggested 
Resources, below) she writes about ways to make your home your own. 
In one segment she explains her...

"Ten Secrets to Finding Your Personal Decorating Style"
     1. Your Personality Reveals Your Style
     2. Start with Where You Are Now
     3. Contour Your Environment to Suit Your Unique Needs
     4. Create Your Own Reality
     5. Do Your Homework
     6. Examine Your Own Life
     7. Trust Your Eye and Be Alert to Your Senses      
     8. Edit, Putter, and Eliminate
     9. Simplicity, Appropriateness, and Beauty
    10. Treasure New Beginnings

---  1. Your Personality Reveals Your Style
Get in touch with that spirit inside you. Who you are is a coming together of
everything you've been exposed to all your life, how you've grown and changed,
what you aspire to, and (most important) what you respond to emotionally.
Style really comes down to what makes you feel good.

---  2. Start with Where You Are Now
Be aware that everything will evolve and change as you mature, and as your
needs and circumstances change. The important thing is not to feel compelled
to do everything all at once, or be embarrassed if you can't. Time has a way
of filling empty rooms -- and inspiration often comes with time.

---  3. Contour Your Environment to Suit Your Unique Needs
Rethink each room in your home. If you like, rename them so they are real to
you. Remember, rooms are opportunities for real living to take place.
Constantly run reality checks on your rooms so that you can enjoy them through
the changing seasons of your life.

---  4. Create Your Own Reality
You can have a romantic country bedroom even if you live in a noisy, urban
environment. Your feelings about life, the places you've traveled to, your
favorite things, all give your home a personal signature. Feel free to create
at least one room that is different from the others. For example, my upstairs
writing room is as spare as the rest of my house is happily cluttered,consisting
of a simple table and hardwood side chair. I call this room my "Zen room."

---  5. Do Your Homework
When you get excited about something, read all you can about it. The more you
learn, the more you can appreciate what's around you and feel the
interconnectedness of the elements. Not all of us studied the decorative arts
at Harvard, but we can educate ourselves, analyze what we like, ask questions,
take notes in a special "Home" notebook, and make better choices because we
understand why we make them. Every bit of effort and every bit of information
help. Seldom do we have a clear vision of what we want.

---  6. Examine Your Own Life
Often the wellspring for creative breakthroughs is simply inside you, waiting
for you to seize it and bring it to life. Think back and reflect on where
you've been -- examine your far past as well as your near past, the influences
that shaped you and define you still. Look for the connections, the things
that repeat themselves. They may be as primal as your earliest childhood
memories, summers spent at the lake or in the mountains, or doing the things
you love doing now. Your own history can give you suggestions about themes and
subjects that will add individuality to your decorating. The only meaningful
decorating style is one that is original. You can't copy someone else's
lifestyle and ever set it really right. Personal style is best achieved by
following your intuition.

---  7. Trust Your Eye and Be Alert to Your Senses      
I am often asked if good taste is something we can acquire. MY answer to this
is a resounding yes! Some people do have innate taste, but for most of us,
good taste emerges once we have learned to trust our own senses. If you are
drawn to certain colors and objects, chances are that a compatibility of
spirit will bind them together. Even if the things you cherish aren't of the
same vintage and design, you can combine them successfully. The important
thing to remember as you begin to make choices is to feel things, to allow
impressions to register, and then to react.

As you contemplate your design decisions and try to establish priorities,
simply list your five senses: sight, touch, sound, smell, and taste. We are
all sentient beings and each one of us feels a little differently about the
five senses. I've asked friends and acquaintances how they rate theirs, and in
every case, it is most revealing. Charles is an artist and a wine collector,
and he lists sight first, taste second, touch third, sound fourth, smell last.
His home is done in deep burgundies and golds, with dark-stained mahogany
floors. My friend Elisabeth places sight first, then sound, smell, touch, and
taste. Her Manhattan loft has glorious city views -- and Thermopane double
windows to shield herself from city noises. What about you? Obviously, there
is no good or bad score in this rating game, the purpose of which is simply to
help us identify priorities and develop a personal sense of taste. Our senses
help us enhance and appreciate the beauty in our surroundings.

---  8. Edit, Putter, and Eliminate
After you understand the range and consequences of your choices, you must
begin to eliminate or edit out what you don't like or need or want. The best
way to see your personal style emerge is to go through your rooms and admit
that some things you liked in an earlier life no longer attract you. Whatever
you don't want can probably be enjoyed by someone else because each of us is
in a different place in our style journey. "Creative puttering" is actually
one of my favorite things to do at home. When I putter, I begin by
straightening up -- dusting, rearranging objects on a tabletop, putting things
in order. But puttering is more than just a useful ritual to edit out the
accumulation and mass we've grown to tolerate. It helps us to become aware of
what's still important to us, what continues to have meaning. This quiet,
private act can therefore become an agent in helping us discover more about
our feelings and our personal evolution.

---  9. Simplicity, Appropriateness, and Beauty
For as Li Liweng writes in Art of Living, "A house and the people living in it
must harmonize as in a picture... cherish the virtue of simplicity. For the
important thing in a living house is not splendor, but refinement, not
elaborate decorativeness, but novelty and elegance."
     Simplicity -- You will never slip into pretentiousness or artificiality when
you build your rooms on a solid foundation of simplicity. When it comes to our
rooms, think of them as intimate spaces you want to feel comfortable, alone.
Immediately you'll lose your fear of what others will think, or your impulse
to over analyze a decision -- and to throw money at it. Elegance is more often
achieved by what you leave out.
     Appropriateness -- Ask yourself what is appropriate for your house, for you
and your family, for your budget, and for the limits of your room dimensions.
Limitations are liberating, and their solutions self-directing. Each room will
then speak to you from a point of view that is naturally yours. Your rooms
have to work not only for you but for the unique habits, customs, and patterns
of your family. So, the more appropriate your room choices are, the more happy
and complete will be the life lived out in them -- and they will sing out with
an unshakable integrity.
     Beauty -- Once our personal style is deeply anchored in simplicity and
appropriateness, then our rooms will reveal their own inward beauty. Beauty in
a room requires a point of view, just as it does in a garden. I always think
of rooms as gardens because they are similar in many ways. In order to work
toward rooms that are in full bloom, you have to plant, tend, and nurture your
space carefully. Blend this trinity of simplicity, appropriateness, and beauty
into your home as a natural extension of your personality. List on a sheet of
paper all the things, tangible and intangible, that are beautiful to you.
These are the physical, emotional, and spiritual elements that will inform
your personal style and allow you to create a home that becomes a sacred
place.

--- 10. Treasure New Beginnings
Even if your abode is already furnished, as you think about these secrets to
finding your personal decorating style, you may experience your surroundings
with a raised awareness. As I have said elsewhere, rooms are not still lifes;
and the best of them, like life itself, continue to grow and change as we do.

You will always be working and reworking, adding, adapting, rearranging, until
a room is reborn. Whether it's repainting or redecorating, everything you do
to your home will improve it, fine-tune it, and bring you into closer harmony
with the person you are now. Rearranging objects, moving furniture around,
hanging a new painting, replacing a piece of furniture -- making space for new
beginnings are all part of the empowering process of life. You will feel
exhilaration and joy in continuing to dream -- and in the replenishment that
is the essence and satisfaction of making your dreams real.

[Excerpt authorized as Fair Use under Copyright Act of 1976, Section 107]


*** Suggested Resources ***
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Creating a Beautiful Home
  by Alexandra Stoddard
Your true home is inside of you, "and it is your love of life that transforms
your house into your home." Alexandra Stoddard knows what she's talking about.
She is a celebrated interior designer, and she recently transformed a
220-year-old house into her own home. Now she shares her professional secrets
and personal discoveries, plus plenty of imaginative ideas for every room in
your house. You'll learn how to reconcile dreams and pocketbook, and have an
exciting journey of self-discovery through creating your environment.
     (softcover book, 229pp) Item# G1255-BK
          SRP$14.00  (see link for special price)
        Buy this item online now at Lifescope.com or Amazon.com.

*** Thrive On! Recommended Site ***
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ImproveNet  <http://www.improvenet.com/>
Helping homeowners find reliable designers, contractors, and lenders, they
bill themselves as the nation's largest independent providing this service.
The site has a products showcase and manufacturer's listings, too. Be sure to
visit their Design Gallery, consisting of images from leading architects and
designers, for some ideas on how to get more from YOUR living space.


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not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of 
validity or accuracy. Lifescope therefore assumes no responsibility for injury
and specifically disclaims any warranty, express or implied, of fitness or 
merchantability for a particular purpose. Besides, actual mileage may vary.

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