Subject: Lifescope TIPs & QUIPs [42] Duck Soup Redux

TIPs & QUIPs is a free serial e-mail publication (ISSN 1525-6707) of
helpful hints and quotes (and sometimes challenging suggestions) for
getting more from life. [Published as the urge and the muses grace us.]

Dear Reader:

We got such a good response from one of our previous issues,
featuring cosmic comic Swami Beyondananda, that we've brought
him back for an encore. If you're new to TIPs & QUIPs and 
haven't heard of the "Swami," he's a cross between Groucho Marx
and Buddha. Only wittier. He work is world class punography
with his tongue-in-sheik style. (See, it's catching.) 

More GOOD STUFF happenin' here at Lifescope: I'm pleased to
announce the introduction of our PowerSearch! web function,
linked to our LIVE products database. We have reviewed over 500
book and software titles, that you can now search by author,
title or DESCRIPTION. The PowerSearch! link is on our home page.

We stock many of these titles, but we're also an ASSOCIATE OF
AMAZON.COM, and almost all of the titles have links to them, too.
So when you decide to purchase any of these items, we hope you'll
follow our links. We appreciate your patronage and support.

                                             -- Lee Lukehart
                                             
In this issue:
     *** WiseWords
     *** This Issue's Theme
     *** Thrive On! Recommended Resources & Featured Website

*** WiseWords ***                                    [TOP]
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   "The most exciting phrase to hear [in science], 
    the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 
    'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'"  
     --Isaac Asimov
     
   "If I had no sense of humor, 
    I would long ago have committed suicide."
     --Mahatma Gandhi

   "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability
    to hold two opposed ideas at the same time, 
    and still retain the ability to function." 
     --F. Scott Fitzgerald

For a collection of some of our favorite WiseWords, see our web page at
<http://www.lifescope.com/pages/WiseWords.html>.)

*** This issue's theme: Duck Soup Redux  [TOP]
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How Swami Got Struck By Enlightenment 
and Became Fooly-Realized
 
   Like many experiences of enlightenment, my awakening came in
   the wake of a dark night of the soul. I had moved to New York
   to study Dowism with the noted stock market guru Yuan Tibet. I
   religiously followed his investment advice, putting my life
   savings into an anti-aging product made from the gallbladder of
   an African antelope-"gnu bile" it was called. It was being
   marketed as CHI Whiz, the first Chinese herbal preparation that
   could be spread on crackers. Initial tests showed conclusively
   that the formula indeed made subjects twenty years younger. I
   sat back and eagerly awaited the riches to begin rolling in.
   But the product's fabulous effectiveness turned out to be its
   downfall. The FDA pulled it off the shelves after a teenager
   took it and disappeared.
   
   I frantically tried to call Yuan Tibet for his sage advice, but
   he could not be found. Tragically, there had been some
   prophet-taking on Wall Street, somebody took him, and he was
   never heard from again. My whole world had come crashing down
   on me in one swell poop, and I found myself in the middle of a
   near-debt experience. Not only was I a fiscal wreck, but an
   emotional wreck as well. As is often the case following a
   serious karma crash, I sought meaning in the tragedy. I cannot
   tell you how many days I spent shaking my fist at the sky and
   demanding, "What is the MEANING of this?"
   
   I knew something needed to change, and I began looking for a
   sign. At first, I just saw the usual signs. "Stop." "Yield."
   "No loitering." But one day soon after, I was riding the subway
   and there amidst all of the other ads was the sign I was
   looking for:
   
              Harry Cohen Baba
          The Garment Center Saint
        "We specialize in alterations."
   
   I'd already heard of Harry Cohen Baba. As the story goes, he
   was born into a family of tailors on New Yorks Lower East Side
   and at a very early age demonstrated remarkable healing powers.
   Whenever an item of torn or frayed clothing was brought into
   his presence, he would wave his hand over the garment, say a
   few loving words like "Pull yourself together," or "Don't be
   frayed," and magically the garment would be healed. For many
   years he owned a tailor shop, where he toiled needlelessly.
   
   As word of the Garment Center Saint's talent for healing
   spread, people began coming to him to mend not just their
   garments but the very fabric of their lives. Many of those who
   came were misfits whose habits left them poorly suited for
   life. Others were hanging on by a thread. Their entire material
   existence needed altering. But Harry was afraid he couldn't
   measure up. One night, weary from wrestling with this
   challenge, he was visited in a dream by a strange apparition.
   Wearing a long white beard and dressed in a caftan, the figure
   identified himself as Yeshivananda, leader of an obscure sect
   known as Men of the Cloth. He told Harry that his purpose in
   life was to use the spiritual to heal the material through the
   magic of laughter. "You're going to need better material,
   though," Yeshivananda told him. "You must go to the mountains
   and sit at the feet of the great Fu Ling masters."
   
   [...the saga continues on page 4 of his book. --ed]
   
   (Copyright Steve Bhaerman, reprinted with permission)

*** Thrive On! Suggested Resources ***                          [TOP]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
==> "Duck Soup for the Soul"
     by Swami Beyondananda, Steve Bhaerman
 
Known as 'a cross between Ram Dass and Haagen Dasz,' Swami
Beyondananda is the brain child/alter ego of writer Steve
Bhaerman. As a syndicated columnist and radio personality, he
delights millions and has been described both as 'comedy
disguised as wisdom' and as 'wisdom disguised as comedy.'

You're guaranteed to get struck by enlightening, and you'll see
that: Fun is FUNdamental; A laugh track has been provided; The
reason you're in the material world is to get more material;
Non-judgment day is at hand; You are unique, just like everyone
else; Whatever it is, peace on it!

   (softcover book, 160pp) Item# F7126-BK
      SRP$9.95 -- Your Price $7.99, You Save 20%!

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==> "NiteOwl"
    (The Ultimate Booklight) 

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attractively designed, this feather-weight lamp is the perfect
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eyelids grow weary, the gracefully curved neck slides back into
its 1/5" thin body which doubles as a bookmark. Works well with
softcover books, too. Great for traveling - no cords, clips or
clamps and made of high-impact plastic. 8" long black body with
teal neck. Requires two AA batteries, not included.

      Item# FJ4261-HG
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The contents herein are solely the opinions of Lifescope editors, and should 
not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of 
validity or accuracy. Lifescope therefore assumes no responsibility for injury
and specifically disclaims any warranty, express or implied, of fitness or 
merchantability for a particular purpose. Besides, actual mileage may vary.

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